feeling lucky

had an appointment with my doc today. apparently i am 'lucky.'

doc was pretty impressed at the amount of soft tissue damage done by the bike cleat, most notably the puncture wound. (i guess fractures are less exciting these days? so 2010.) turns out Dude Who Stomped on My Foot with His Bike Cleat was mere millimeters from sending me to the OR to fix some ruptured tendons.

he looked me square in the face and said i was 'lucky.' i didn't feel it in that moment, i was actually more irritated than anything. but now, i feel it a little. maybe. my wee crack of a fracture will be healed in no time. i can stop wearing the boot sooner than later. i'll be back running in 6 weeks. compared to surgery, 6mo in the boot, and no running for even longer (all whilst trying to care for a highly energetic 18mo old), my lot doesn't seem so bad.

to address the 2.5 weeks of inactivity initiated by such good 'luck,' i went for a swim on Tuesday. i'm not even sure at this point that i still know how to swim. it's surprising the BSC staff didn't jump in and try to rescue me from what must have looked like a slow, forward motion grand mal seizure.

things i will do differently next time

other than, you know, not breaking my foot in T1.

note it is 'things i WILL do differently next time'. not 'things i would have/could have/should have done differently.'

time is helping the IMLou DNF wound to heal. i'm less embarrassed to tell people now. i'm not crying about it anymore (thank gawd.) i'm starting to get to the place where i miss the long rides and runs and am so incredibly grateful for having had the opportunity to train for a freaking IRONMAN.

there WILL be a next time for me.

reflecting on my experiences of the last year, i've come up with a few things i will change for next time, and a few things i want to keep the same. here they are, not necessarily in order of importance. (i'll make a color-coded spreadsheet for that later...)

same same:

1. my bike. love that sexy machine. i did not hate my bike when i got off of it, some 8-odd hours after starting the bike leg, which seems to put me in the minority. 
2. my 'have fun' attitude. being a back-of-the-pack-er, i'm not as prone to disappointment when it comes to my times/splits/place as those who finish near the front. quite a bit of interesting sports psychology research has shown that people that place 2nd, 3rd, or in the top of their AG tend to have lower satisfaction scores related to their sport than the last place finisher. of course not all second place finishers feel that way, but many do. i'm happy to stick to my happy place. at the back.
3. picking a race that fits with my family's schedule. having so much support there was unreal. i can't imagine doing it without my people. 

change up:

1. different bike nutrition set up. i need a new fuel/drink system. stopping to put my little baggies of accelerade powder into the bottles, filling them up with water, shaking them, etc ate up too much time. i'm thinking of possibly switching to the on-course stuff (Perform) or trying the whole EFS get up. any suggestions are welcome! just know the suggestions need to be gluten free :)  (i'll keep my solid food snacking a la Lara Bar/Chomps/salt tabs the same, though.)
2. lose weight. not in a 'ermahgerd i'm soooo fat' teenage kind of way. it's a pragmatic 'i could stand to lose 20lbs of fat' kind of way. let me say this: i am not fat. i am, however, at 5'6'' and 140lbs (pre-race weight norm, not post IM weight), at the top end of what's considered healthy via weight and BMI standards. i've had my body fat % measured (yikes!) and i do legitimately have 20lbs of fat i could stand to lose. biking and running will be easier and more efficient if i lose that weight. i'm planning on using Matt Fitzgerald's "Quick Start Racing Weight" plan for this purpose. 
3. get a power meter. let me say again. i love my bike. i, as the engine of that fabulous machine, could stand to get stronger. part of the next step for me is know what my power output is, and training to increase it. i'm looking at a few models: PowerTap, Quarq, Garmin's new pedal-based Vector, and the new Stages crank model. any input from you, internets? i'm kind of a geek about data, and can't wait to have MORE THINGS to add to spreadsheets. 

i'll add to this list as time goes on, but these are the little epiphanies i've had when daydreaming about my next race. 

i'm also working on a 'sh*t NOT to say to someone who just DNF'd an IRONMAN.' stay tuned!

DNF

my faulty timing chip may have lead you to believe i DNS'd. 'twas not the case. instead, i DNF'd. 

it may be too raw to ever do a full race report. the Cliffs Notes version goes like this:

• super nervous the week leading up to the race, but excited and giddy race morning.
• had the swim of my life. a full 20 min faster than i expected @ 1:25, all with my HR in the proper zone and little in-water contact.
• unluckiest T1 ever. a large man running through T1 stomped on my bare foot with his bike cleat before i even made it to the changing tent. i felt the ominous 'POP.'  
• cue instant swelling. bruising, blood, and pain.  powered through the pain, got on the bike.

3 days later, swelling has gone down a bit, still can't move my middle 3 toes

• foot pain was excruciating, to the point it made me nauseous/hyperventilate. ended up doing about 75% of the bike as a left leg single-leg pedal drill. overall bike 8:35, about 1 hr longer than planned. 

• got foot wrapped in T2 (and a med-tent lecture) before continuing on the 'run.'
• jogged out of transition on pure adrenaline. made it to about mile 2 before i dry heaved from the pain and started walking.
• limped the rest of the way, trying not to cry, until they pulled me off the marathon course at the start of the second loop. that happened at 9:50, 5 minutes after the cut off. 
• (i wouldn't have made it to the finish at the rate i was going anyways, it took me nearly 4 hrs to limp the first half.)
• cue instant sobbing, like a wee babe, into the arms of my parents.

still couldn't really walk on it the next day. eventual x-rays confirmed the metatarsal break, so my only 'finisher gear' from the race is a giant boot. doc said to use crutches, but i fucking walked 13 miles on it Sunday, i think i'll be okay without them, thankyouverymuch. 

on one hand i'm proud of myself for not quitting. i want the letters behind my name for IMLou 2013 to be DNFQ - Did Not Fucking Quit.

on the other hand, i'm crushed. i feel like i'm mourning a loss of... not a person, but of a something?  as ridiculous as that may seem to someone who has never not finished a race, that's how it feels. 

i can't believe it's over, that it happened that way. i don't want to talk about the race AT ALL to ANYONE except my keyboard (denial & isolation). i keep wondering. . . what if i had done such-and-such thing would i have been able to run or walk fast enough to finish? . . . what if i were just a little tougher, could i have run through the pain? (bargaining). i occasionally get mad at the man that stepped on my foot by complete accident (anger). i have cried. a lot. i don't think it's fair to call it real depression, but maybe the short term version of it fits (depression). i'll get to (acceptance) eventually. 

i feel horrible for making my family stand out there all day for ... what? me as a sobbing, limping mess? 

i feel horrible that the most selfless friend i have ever known came out to KY, took care of me race morning, took care of my kid and family, cheered me on, stayed awake for nearly 24hrs, and wasted a week of vacation time to do it, all for ... nought.  

i feel horrible that my husband missed a week of work during the busiest week of his work life yet  ... just to watch me fail at this goal. 

i feel mortified to tell my friends, family, and co-workers that i didn't finish (as well as re-explaining things on FB/twitter/etc. people, seriously. READ a post or status before typing "CONGRATS on finishing yayy!!")

i know, i know. 95% of the work is just getting to the start line, and i should be proud of that (i am.) i should be proud of how far my body took me (i am.) i know the pain and embarrassment will fade with time, the way the pain in my foot will fade. i know i'll eventually be able to see the DNF as a positive, a stepping stone, a learning process. but for right now, it sucks. hard. because at the end of the day, no matter how many feel-good emails i get, no matter how many motivational signs about not giving up people pin for me on Pinterest, i still failed. 

i am NOT an ironman. 

yet. 

signs

the family asked me for motivational/spectator sign ideas for IMLou. so, i asked google. this one is my favorite so far: 

"run now, poop later. never trust a fart!"

y'all have any favorites?? do share! also, i want to know all of my blog and internet friends' bib #'s who are racing! 

i never thought it would be this hard

to taper.

taper is making me feel weird. uneasy. like i'm not doing enough. only a week in, and i feel...squishy(er). i'm having a hard time not pushing myself too hard on the shorter workouts.

well, on the swim and bike workouts that is. i did something weird to my left foot on last weekend's 18 miler. the toe i broke 2 months ago started to hurt, no biggie but a skosh uncomfortable. i think i started to compensate in my gait, though, because after 5 minutes the arch of my foot under the big toe started to hurt. bad. like, had to walk. a lot.

so, of course, i am freaking out about that as well. it hurt too much to do my mid week run, so i did the elliptical instead (plus ice massage and advil.) i managed to do my 10 miler today. it still hurt, but not so bad that i couldn't run. in a way, it was probably good that my foot was a bit sore, because i think i would have gone balls out on that run, since i'm feeling so fantastically amazingly in-the-best-shape-of-my-life kind of fit. so, even though i'm a little freaked out about the pain (and may or may not have self-diagnosed it as a stress fracture) it was probably better that it was there. i've heard tons of stories about people who go too hard during taper and then don't have gas in the tank for race day. that would have been me today--burning my race legs out there on a long run.

and in case you've haven't been tallying my minor injuries and illnesses for the training season like i have, here's a breakdown:

• 100x head colds
• 1x sinus infection
• 2x gastro intestinal explosive disease 
• pleuritic chest pain
• quadriceps strain
• broken L 5th toe
• plausible/possible/imaginary L foot stress fracture

i'm sure there's more hidden in the whiny recesses of this blog. 

but it's all been worth it. to get to this point. even with a hurty foot, that 10 miler felt like a breeze. i finally understand what all of those previously annoying IM training friends meant by 'only' having a 10/12/13 miler and a 2/3 hr ride during taper. a year ago, it would have been ridiculously hard. now, it's a cake walk. 

i feel ready. let's do this. 

and we have bib numbers

#281, y'all!

sphincter moment

it is August 1st, 2013.

IRONMAN LOUISVILLE IS THIS MONTH. 

i am simultaneously excited, terrified, sad, happy, ready for these long-training-weekends-of-not-seeing-my-family to be over, not ready to stop riding and running and swimming so much, afraid that my best will not be enough, proud of what my body has done, and confident that i can do it. yes, i am that scattered. and yes, that is okay.

my last century ride was the hardest yet. it came the day after a 16mi run. and it was the first ride of this training cycle that i just didn't want to do from the get go. i did it, but my mind wanted to quit 100x after mile 50 even though my legs felt *okay. (*=definitely not awesome.) i had to take a few/many/multiple 15min pity party breaks to lie in the grass and whine about something or another. but i had plenty of time to think about the race. i am 100% confident that i am physically prepared to do the distance.

i am not 100% confident about the time cutoffs. so there is fear there. there is fear that i will lose this mental strength somehow on race day. there is fear of not being able to overcome obstacles that the course throws my way. rain? time cut offs? multiple flats? gi issues? other mechanical on the bike? uncooperative legs? nutrition fail? you name it, i've got some fear attached to it.

but in the end, i know i've done all i can to be prepared. and when the day comes, i'll be as prepared as i'm going to be, and that's that. most of the things that have been worth doing in my life (moving overseas, going back to school, getting married, having a kid, IM training, working as an RN) scared the crap out of me in the beginning. so it's okay to be afraid. it's something i just have to sit with right now. marinate in. feel it. own it. then i can move forward. not necessarily leaving the fear behind, but realizing it is a part of the process, and nothing more. i'm somewhere between zen and a compete mental breakdown.

how about you?

IMLP

last year, i was at IMLP as a medical volunteer. lusting over athlete village, the millions of dollars worth of bikes in transition, the chiseled athletes...

so jealous, yet giddy for each and every one of them. i got to meet/start some IVs in great people while the medical tent, from pros to FOPers to BOPers.

and i got to see this guy finish in, if i remember correctly, a course-record time:

needless to say, it was inspiring. inspiring enough to get me to sign up for IMLou a month later. this year we can't be out there physically, but we're there in spirit. best of luck to all of my real-life friends, blog-life friends, blogs-i-stalk-wish-we-were-friends, and spouses-of-friends racing tomorrow!

Go Jenn! Go Run this Amazing Day! Go Caratunk Girl! Go Kim! Go Aaron's wife!

rip tide

experienced a rip tide today.

in the pool.

the only lane open was the lane next to the shallow end, where the water exercise class was getting its groove on.

source

the 15 obese women went round and round in circles in the shallow end, frantically pushing their foam hand weights underwater, shuffling side to side. they continued in this fashion for approximately 40 minutes, roughly the duration of my swim. and let me tell you: 15 obese women can create one helluvah current! even when i swam at an angle, sprinting with all my might to get past the worst part of the current in the center of the pool, i still got blasted over to the opposite lane line. every. damn. time.

made for interesting sprint sets. but whatever. it was great practice for rough water conditions. something i've gotten much more of in this BSC pool than i ever expected.

this week and next week's workouts look like this:

M: rest day
Tu: 50min run (+ 8hrs of on-call for work)
W: swim sprint set (500wu, 6x200 super sprints, 200cd) + 1:15 spin
Th: 50min run + anaerobic trainer workout (wu, single leg drills, 3x8min hill repeats, cd)
F: long anaerobic swim (6x500 main set) or 1hr OWS. haven't decided which i'll do yet.
Sa: 16mi run
Su: 100mi bike

next week:
M: swim sprint set + 50min run
Tu: 1:15 spin (+ work 3-11P)
W: rest day (+ work 3-11P)
Th: 10x2min main set bike hill repeats + 50min run
F: same long swim choice workout as previous week
Sa: 80mi ride
Su: 18mi run

weekly total workout times are around 16-18h.

good luck to all of y'all racing Lake Placid this weekend! wish i could be there to start your IVs in the med tent like last year :)

mountain century

aka the mountain century that never was. at least for me, that is.

picked up niece from the airport on Friday. ordered Thai (from our regular place), chowed down before driving most of the way to the ride site in NH. felt some bubble-guts action going on during the 2.5hr ride, but i have a sensitive stomach so that's not anything new. sometimes it means impending NO BUENO gut action, and sometimes it just means bubbles.

slept well, woke up early to prep and drive the last 20mi to the ride start. bubble-guts sensation had morphed over night. much more crampy, pain, and urgent feeling. just like a flare about to start. in my 4am wake-up-haze, i ignored the signs and downed a double-shot espresso and my regular pre-long workout PB bagel sammy.

<for those of you with IBD/CD/UC/IBS, or with a friend or spouse with any of the above, or with any general knowledge of GI troubles, you're probably thinking--OY! a big meal + caffeine? nononononono.>

so, yeah, it's probably no surprise then that i had to stop at a random Dunks on the way there for pitstop #1 of 4,328 that day.

used the restroom, registered, used the restroom, got the bike ready, used the restroom (see a pattern here? i refused to, and decided i could still ride 100mi at ~10mph speed through the White Mountains. riiiiiiight.)

only made it 5mi before i had to hop off my bike and find a bush. went a few more times before the first big descent out of Bear Notch. luckily i didn't have to go during that 2mi downhill, with rumble strips, no less!

suffered my way through that pattern for about 40 miles. i realized, as i was crying behind a bush because i was scared i was starting to flare, that maybe riding through this wasn't the best idea. i seriously can't believe it took me that long. i was miserable.

so. i DNFd the Tin Mountain century, and was totally destroyed by it over the weekend. i had so so so SO wanted to test myself on those mountains. i had decided that if i could do this century, i could do anything and Louisville would be no match for me. so i took it quite hard when i had to pull out.

add on top of that the fear that my colitis was returning--something that could potentially make me DNS Louisville. i was not a happy camper driving home.

but after a few days of low-residue eating, little to no caffeine, a break from workouts (2 rest days, and one 40mi bike ride once i felt better on Sunday), and a rainy afternoon on the couch waiting to be called in for work, i have come around a bit. i have realized a few things, some of which are less 'realizations' and more 'oh-duh-dumbshit-read-your-own-blog-to-remember-why-you're-doing-this':

1. my guts, and my health, are priority #1. i should not have even started that ride. 
2. doing or not doing the TMCC century would not guarantee me a finish at IM Louisville. nothing will *guarantee* that. 
3. i LOVE climbing mountains on the bike. momma needs a nice light road bike for some serious post-IM cycling love. (but seriously...i was the only idiot out there on a tri bike! hahaha.)

so. i ended up logging 80mi for the weekend. it's not a crazy hard century, but not a complete fail either. and no amount of mountain centuries will make Louisville easy. and i have PLENTY of long rides and long runs between now and then to worry too much about missing part of one. hard-fought for fitness, sticking to Coach Jason's training plan, good rest, good food, and good execution on race day will make Louisville doable. and if i have anything to do with it, fun, too.

saw this dr. seuss quote today on pro triathlete Andy Potts's site. i like it particularly for the mountain reference. if an IRONMAN isn't a sort of mountain, i don't know what is.

source

& etc.

how is it that i can swim 4km in the pool, in 1:20-1:25 (~2:00-2:08's/100m), but average 2:35's or more in open water?

i don't sight horribly. i mean, i'm not perfect, but i've never wandered off course. i get jittery before the start, and have hyperventilated a few times in the first 100m or so. but i certainly don't feel panicked, like i'm going to die. (i know this is a legit feeling that people deal with--it's just, i don't.) i eventually get into a rhythm and feel fine. i push it. not crazy hard, but push enough to match my 2:00-2:10 efforts in the pool. when i push harder, i fall into shitty form.

i can still finish IMLou in time to beat the cutoff with a 2:35 split. but c'mon. i'd rather finish 20 minutes sooner. bah.

suggestions? anyone? anyone? Bueller?

all the whining about being slow aside--today's 4km was a good effort. i love the post-long-swim sleepies.

speaking of sleepies.... i am now in the phase of IM training where i prefer to sleep over eat. i contemplate consuming the contents of my fridge semi-regularly throughout the day. a month ago, i went with the urge 100% of the time, and ate a bagillion calories a day. don't worry now--i still eat enough to fuel the Duggars for a day, but nowadays i actually consciously choose to take a nap instead of eat *another* peanut butter banana sandwich.

also, tomorrow is the Tin Mountain Conservation Center's Century ride. 100 mi and 5000ft of elevation change. can you guess the forecasted weather??

RAIN!

going to be a SUPER WIENER going down the mountain in wet conditions on a tri bike. think they'll let me ride up the mountain, and then SAG wagon it down to the bottom, so i can ride up the next one? i think i'd rather do 100mi of uphills than 50mi of downhills.

Mama Nature's cruel joke to me will be a dry, hot IRONMAN after all of these humid, rainy long ride days. what else can a girl do but ride through it?

ride update to follow Sunday. 'til then, happy training, y'all!

tire pressure

the CTO and i got into a philosophical debate about tire pressure the other night. i'll spare you the intimate details (you're welcome.)

serendipitously, a friend of mine who also happens to be a former cat 1 cyclist, posted on her FB page about tire pressure today.

did y'all know there is a FREE iPhone app--by the tire/tube/etc maker Vittoria--to help you determine your tire pressure???!?! (no, Vittoria didn't pay me to post this. they're just getting free promo from a happy app user!)

once you choose MTN vs road, there are four places for you to input metrics:

1. casing type
2. version (clincher, tubular)
3. weight (bike + rider)
4. road conditions

i am OBSESSED. and, you're welcome.

week 23 of training

aka HOLY CRAP HOW IS THIS WEEK OVER ALREADY

i ended up having to take an extra rest day on Wednesday and scrap the 2 planned workouts. the nasty head cold moved into my chest, and I just could not catch my breath. thought I was going to drown in the pool, only made it through the first 3 100s.

long ride on Saturday went MUCH better than last time. <can i get an AMEN?> stuck to the loops I know. no losing time getting lost. did 90mi in 6:30, a vast improvement from last time, though i still am dangerously close to 'chasing cut-off' speed. will work on longer-distance speed in the coming month. ride bonus: I felt good at the end, tired but in no way toast. the CTO even remarked that I didn't even look tired (he's brutally honest, to a fault.)

also changed my front tire out at the end to practice for Louisville. it took forever because my arms were tired. i think I'll keep doing that towards the end of my long rides so I'm well practiced come race day, since IM Louisville is known for disgruntled locals that throw farm tacks onto the bike course. considering my slow pace, imma need to be a tube ninja, just in case. 

i've also added in a LARA Bar to my long ride nutrition. found I was getting grumpy/depressed around 50mi. the 1/2 bar at 50mi, and then another 1/2 bar 30 or so miles later keeps the grumps away, and I 'coast' much less :P

the long run Sunday morning was about as hard as I expected, but for different reasons than I expected (if that makes sense.) i was still very congested, snotty and full of coughs from the cold, so the first 3mi were a MAJOR struggle just to breathe. the heat and humidity didn't help that cause  at all. 

average pace was quite sluggish for me, 12min/miles. initially I had expected my tired legs to be my limiter on this run. instead it was my snot-filled lungs. contemplated quitting and/or crying on the side of the road for a while, but in the end, i figured a long slow run in humid heat would be a great chance to practice my mental game, my run nutrition/salt intake, and my run/walk strategy. (read: i was not going to get through the run without walking, so, run/walk strategy here i come!) ended up running 9 min, walking 1 for the entire run, with a total time including water stops of 3:15. it wasn't pretty, but I didn't expect it to be.

like so many other training weeks, it had some good, some bad. week by week i'm feeling more ready for whatever Louisville brings. no matter what the outcome (time, conditions, etc) i'm proud of what i've done in training. 

and that's all i have to say about that. 

week(s) in workouts

the plan for this week:

M: rest day (came down with a serious head cold s/p 7.75hr ride in the rain...)
Tu: rest day
W: anaerobic swim (12x100 sprint main set) + 45min run
Th: 1:15 spin
F: 30min run
Sa: 90mi bike ride
Su: 16mi run

AND the plan for next week:

M: rest day
Tu: same anaerobic swim as last week
W: rest day
Th: 45min run
F: aerobic swim (8x400 main set, 3900m total)
Sa: Tin Mountain Century ride (~5200ft elevation gain...eep!)
Su: rest day

two things that i'm nervous about:

1) 16mi run this Sunday. the 13.1 last weekend just about killed me. doing 3 more miles, on just as tired legs??? scurrrred. will try out my IRONMAN 9/1 run/walk plan, and report back.

2) doing 'New England's Toughest Century.' doing 'New England's Toughest Century' on a tri bike. have i mentioned i'm a ninny when it comes to descending/going fast? scurrrrred.

anyone have experience doing mountain descents? any tips or tricks to help keep me on the road and/or alive?

Louisville training weekend day 3

woke up before the ass-crack of dawn to run the course early. i decided the night before that i missed my family too much and wanted to get back Sunday night, instead of Monday afternoon. that meant a SUPER early 13.1 all by my lonesome on the course. can you hear the 'yay' in my voice?

my hotel was in downtown Louisville, not far from transition. this made it easy to jog to the start and follow the new run course.  for those of you that don't know, they've cut the big bridge out of the run. this made the run essentially flat. well, it FELT flat compared to the bike.

the downtown area is like most other big city downtowns...sort of ghetto. i took mace with me on the run, no joke. almost thought i was going to have to use it when a drunk bum woke up as i ran by and startled me/us.

how did the legs feel, you ask? oh terrible terrible terrible. it was U-G-L-Y. ran 10:15-10:30s, but they felt like 13min/miles. shoulders were all twitchy. and my mental game was all 'wah wah poor me.' but i did it.

then i drove home. 17hrs. worst drive ever. 3hrs of standstill traffic in PA. 2hrs of rain in WV and PA that only allowed me to go 30mph. ass-hat drivers in NJ. sooo hard to sit still for that long.

the only good thing to come out of that drive home: amazing town names. my top two:

1) Shartsville
2) Mianus

you'll have to wait on pins and needles for this week-in-workouts post.

Louisville training weekend days 1&2

Day 1: drive from Boston to Louisville (979mi, 15hrs)

Yes, that was as fun as it sounds. Highlights/lowlights by state:

MA-went by so quickly! It's so weird to live in a small state. Boo tolls.
CT-also went by quickly, drove past Newtown and the Sandyhook exit, shed a tear or two. Also began bawling because I missed my son.
NY-got over the baby-missing blues. Also had my car puked on no less than 3 times on the highway.
PA-prettiest state, though I'm pretty sure the ride was uphill the whole way, if that's possible?
OH-torrential rain (foreshadowing), and also wins the award for the most # of religious signs AND the most # of adult megastore signs.
KY-relived my middle school years with a backstreet boys marathon (on the radio?!?) and was welcomed into the state with a gorgeous hot pink sunset and fireworks just outside of Louisville.

Managed to get in an hour earlier tha expected, only to promptly eat that time up by going to the wrong hotel....

Day 2: IRONMAN Louisville bike course ride with the iamtri crew, 110.5mi, 7:45

was originally slated to swim beforehand, but weeks of storms down here meant rough water, high bacteria levels and therefore a cancelled swim.

Started the ride in pouring rain. Did the crazy steep / long out and back hills in pouring rain. Did the first loop in pouring rain. Threw a little pity party for myself as I started the second loop, in the pouring rain. Finally got my head straight after a few miles of contemplating quitting (turns out i was hungry--Lara bar to the rescue!) and finished the second loop, in *gasp* light rain. Felt a big fade happen from 80-95mi. Lara bar couldn't save me from that one. Miles 95-110.5 had me cryin' for my momma.

My legs were tired at the end, for sure, but not as trashed as I expected. What really hurt were my shoulders. I could hardly keep my head up to look at the road in the last 10mi. By the time I got to the car, they were almost completely seized up.  It took everything I had to get that bike back into the car.

Tomorrow is the run-13.1mi on course, on tired legs. Wish me luck, imma need it!!

NE Trifest Half - Race Report

To explain the previous post:

"never do an 'inaugural' race:" I somehow missed the memo that this was the FIRST year of the NE Trifest. This is probably to be expected, but it wasn't very well organized. No one knew where we were supposed to park, where body marking would be, where we would pick up our timing chips on race day, where the swim out was (they changed it, but no one seemed to know HOW they changed it). There was only 1 water bottle station on the 28mi loop, but 6 aid stations on the run (about half unmanned, and most without electrolyte drink or coke bc it was 'stolen.') There was no lost and found, and no one checking bikes & numbers in transition at the end of the race. My rack-neighbor had her back wheel stolen! And finally, there were no timing mats on the out and back run. I saw a handfull of people doing the half who cut the run short by a few miles.

"never race on a broken toe:" this one is probably self explanatory, though somehow I missed this memo as well. Read on to see why.

Ok. Self-serving, detailed race report. Finally.

Swim was okay. 49:15 (by my watch-which we all know is the REAL swim time.) Did 4 minutes better than my last 70.3, though I felt I could have done much better. For some reason I felt like I couldn't get a deep breath in my wetsuit. Was it panic, or the wetsuit? Either way, it took a good 500m to get in a rhythm.

Took my time in both transitions to make sure the toe was properly taped.

Bike ended up taking longer than expected at 3:50, but I'm still proud of my effort. First half of the loop was rollers with a few climbs and one screaming downhill. I averaged 17-18mph there. There was 3mi of constant climbing (no joke, 3mi continuous up--many people walked their bikes up on the second loop) on the back half of the course. I also saw TONS of people drafting. Cheaters gon' cheat, I suppose. My speed was ~5-9mph on the steep sections, which dropped my total mph down to 14.5mph. I felt like I rode smart, my legs were tired but not trashed. My nutrition went perfectly--no nausea, no hunger, had to pee once during the loop. I did have a weird mechanical issue that I stopped once for ~5min. My rear derailleur sounded like it was going to fall off every time I hit a bump! Nothing happened, thankfully, but it sounded bad. I'm taking it in this week for a tune-up/check-up. And to buy a new saddle bag (mine fell off at some point due to rough road--thank Gawd I didn't flat!) The day was beautiful, though, and I was super thankful that it didn't rain. Some of those crazy downhills were on rough road and would have been disastrous in the rain.

Run started off really well. Toe felt fine. Held a 10:15 pace for the first 4mi. Took my nutrition as planned, no nausea or bonky feelings. At mile 4.5 began a constant, steep (>8% per road signage) climb until the turnaround at 6.5mi. My toe did NOT like the steep incline, so I had to walk. Pace dropped to around 16min/miles.

I would have stopped and taken a DNF, but there wasn't anywhere to do so! They only 2 aid stations in that 4mi section--one was unmanned, and at the other they didn't have a car or a walkie talkie, and there was zero cell reception.

With little other choice in the matter, I decided to walk to the turnaround, assuming there would be people there I could talk to. Nope! Not even a timing mat! (Side note: i saw people doing the 70.3 turn around well before the turnaround -- and place well because of it. Again, cheaters.) Once at the turnaround, there was only one thing to do--try running again! But alas, my toe hated the downhill even more than the uphill, so I limped down it slowly (18min/mi pace) until I found an aid station with medical supplies at the bottom of the hill. Taped the foot up almost completely (with electrical tape-ha!) By that time I was past the worst of the downhill, and tried running again. To my surprise, the toe was fine on the gentle rollers and flat. Only the steeper hills bothered me. So, after an eternity of walking and thinking I was going to DNF, I was moving again. I ended up running the rest of the way back (miles 8.5 to finish) at a 10:45 pace, non-stop. A sag wagon found me at mile 9 and asked it I wanted a ride in, but I told him he was too late--I'd decided I was going to finish this f*cker as long as my toe held up.

It was really frustrating to see my worst 70.3 finish time ever by almost 40min (7:48) and to have nearly the entire tri site shut down. It was even harder mentally to deal with the stupid toe. Though I may not be proud of the time, I finished, and I'm proud that I stuck with it.

And I feel incredibly lucky to have such an amazing support crew. Even if the kiddo only slept for 2 hrs the night before the race...tent camping with a toddler...don't do it!  :P

To be honest, I had a little pity party for myself when the CTO loaded the car to come home. Some 'why me' and 'why did i break my stupid toe' tears might have happened. But after giving the CTO a run-through of my race, I realized it wasn't as terrible as I thought. The course was tough--so finish times were slower across the board. My time was going to be slower than I wanted anyways, even without toe issues. And to have the toe be my only real limiter showed to me that I have built up some sizable fitness and mental strength.

Louisville is hilly, but there aren't ridiculous 3mi long, >8% grade climbs. The run has rollers, but no massive 2mi climbs and descents. I'll know better next weekend how I fare on it--I'm headed down there for the iamtri training weekend--but I'm feeling more confident about my ability to handle it now.

Sometimes I feel like I have a dark cloud following me around as I train. And sometimes I feel like I spend as much time whining and making excuses for why I'm not 'fast' as I do actually training. This was all supposed to be for fun. The crazy thing is, I am having fun--I promise!! I guess I just post about the fun less than the other crap? I'm kind of a cynic and a sarcastic moFo, so maybe I don't know how to properly write about happy things?

Does everyone have this much trouble with training, and I need to just suck it up? Give it to me straight, internets.

File this under

"Never do an inaugural race" + "don't race with a broken toe"

It was ugly. At least I didn't DNF. Though i probably should have. i even tried to! Report to follow, after an ice bath and some Zzzzzz's.

heat island

did anyone hear the piece on npr today about 'heat islands'?

they are essentially metro areas that are significantly warmer (1-8 degrees) than their rural counterparts. most of them are this way due to little tree cover. trees provide moisture as well as shade, which contributes a cooling effect.

source

three guesses which city is the fastest-temp-rising, hottest-city-of-the-summer, headlining-heat-island? the first two guesses don't count.

that's right. Louisville. apparently it has one of the lowest urban tree coverage percentages, around 28%. Atlanta's is nearer to 60%.

SUPERYAY for marathon running in a heat island in the middle of the summer.

seems like IMLou 2013 is shaping up to be HOTTER than last year. and last year had Lou's highest DNF rate at 14% (also a 14% DNS. that's 28% of people who signed up that didn't cross the finish line!)

i'm sincerely hoping that my genetic makeup somehow remembers how to handle this kind of ridiculous heat. i was born and raised in the south. played 3 soccer games a day for 3-4 days in August tournaments, with temps in the 100s and humidity in the 90s. in our last year in atx before moving up here to Yankee Land we had over 100 consecutive days of 100F temps.

at least Boston FINALLY got the memo about summer time:

you may also notice from my fancy iPhone screen shot that there are tiny thunderstorm icons for Tu-Th. those icons actually stretch all the way into next week. looks like stormy weather for the 70.3 weekend. if it does storm, my two training triathlons for Lou will have been in the rain. such great training for a hot, humid, dry race :/

at least it'll make me tougher. right?!

week in workouts

ready to start week 21 of training. here's what she'll look like:

M: rest day - taking kiddo to the pool :)
Tu: 1:15 bike, 3mi run                                                     [work nightshift 11P-7A]
W: anaerobic swim (4x300 VHI main set) and bike hill intervals (15x2min main set)
Th: 1:15 bike
F: rest day
Sa: 20min easy spin
Su: RACE DAY! New England Tri-Fest 70.3

source

after some questionable/probable/definite slowness on my long rides, but easily holding 17mph on short 1-2hr rides, i'm ready to test my legs out on a HIM course. i'm also volunteering on Saturday (for a registration fee discount!), and we're camping on site. should be interesting to see how the whole 'sleeping with 2 people and a toddler in a 2 person tent' thing shakes out. i may be doing this HIM on 2 hrs of sleep!

have my 3rd appt with the podiatrist this week. last time i was at 50% healing, and was given a tentative ok to try a 3mi run, with strict instructions to stop and not run again until this week if i had any pain whatsoever. thankfully there has been no pain, and i will have done three 3-milers since that appt two weeks ago. i sincerely hope the toe will be healed sufficiently for me to get the go-ahead for Saturday's 13.1mi.

lord, who knows if i'll even be able to do 13.1??? my last long run was Boston's RtR 13.1--the day i broke the stupid toe--and that was 5 weeks ago!!

i've also come up with some A, B, and C time goals for NE Tri-Fest. even though this race is just a long training day for me. IRONMAN Louisville 2013 is my only 'A' race. so why do i have A, B, and C time goals set for myself? is this normal? i haven't forgotten that fun is the over-arching goal. but i believe i can have fun AND hit the A goal if the stars align. B is somewhere between where i think i can finish and were i have finished in the past. C is finish with no injuries.

i'll share the actual times once i finish... i mean, i've got to keep some suspense here, right? if i want to keep my thousands of readers interested.   HAHAHAHAHAHAsnortHAHAHAHA

happy training, everyone!

OWS

got my first open water swim in of the season (excluding the mess of a race swim @ the season opener tri.)

at walden pond.

i'm not going to take back all of the horrible things i said about cycling in Mass, but. summer open water swimming up here is ridiculous, in the best way. walden pond is 0.25mi from my hospital. this makes my insides happy. i got in a solid 50min swim before my evening shift yesterday. and it was the best shift i've had at this job (yet.)

i think i'll make it a 'thing.'

some things i cannot recommend

this week has been full of some awesome things, and some not-awesome things.

awesome:

• the new apartment! it's in a yuppie dorm, but it's nice and the neighborhood is amazing.
• running! i ran 3 (slow/clunky/awkward) miles on the track, with zero toe pain!
• swimming! i actually, straight-up, no qualifications needed, LOVED my swim workouts this week. and one of them was 4000m o_O
• summer weather! after days of cold rain (59F seriously, New England?) we actually had some sun and 70F temps. yay sun!
• !! exclamation points !!

not-awesome:

• moving across town with a toddler. cannot recommend it. 
• unpacking whilst simultaneously caring for/feeding/changing/entertaining/keeping said toddler alive. cannot recommend it. 
• passing a virus around the family, one at a time, for two weeks. 
• cycling in Massachusetts. the summer beauty just doesn't quite make up for the lack of road signage, or the fact that IF the roads are labeled, they all have the same GD name [eg Spring Ave, Spring Ln, Spring Ct, Spring St, Spring Dr. I kid you not. All within 8 blocks of each other. wtf.]
• doing a century (105mi to be exact) in 8.5hrs. that's 12mph, folks.
• why am i so slow?? what happened? i've done centuries averaging 15-16mph on a much heavier bike, when i was in poorer physical condition, on more challenging courses. what gives? i can't use getting lost as an excuse forever. 

though i don't feel especially tired, or burnt out--i still look forward to my workouts every week--i'm looking forward to the upcoming rest week. fo sho. 

here's what this week's and next's workouts look like:

this past week-

M: rest day

T: 1:15 spin

W: anaerobic swim (6x200 VHI main set) + anaerobic bike (12x2min VHI main set)

Th: 3mi track run :)

F: loooooong aerobic swim 4000m

Sa: 105 shittttttay miles

Su: febrile, nauseous, light headed, ie no 2hr recovery ride :(

next week/rest week:

M: rest day

T: 3mi track run

W: anaerobic swim

Th: 1:15 spin

F: loooong aerobic swim

Sa: rest day

Su: rest day

anyone else out there in IM interweb training blog world having trouble with speed? i am FAH-reaking-OUT. halp. 

i interrupt this training blog

to bring you a gif of me and my little.

week(s) in workouts

well, i survived the elliptical 'workouts' and the 5 hr trainer ride.

it doesn't seem to matter how hard i push on the elliptical, i can't ever get my heart rate up. highest resistance? check. highest incline? check. HR? 112. pbbbbbbbbbt. oh well. it's better than sitting on my coach, self-medicating with trader joe's chocolate ice cream... hypothetically. 

5 hr trainer ride was fine until 2.5 hrs (when my iPad farted out.) i had to spend the next 2.5 hrs in 93F, 88% humidity weather (read: feels like 104F) staring at the side of my house, in full sun. occasionally the kidlet or the CTO would rap on the window and smile, but otherwise it was just me and my thoughts. so i basically went bananas. it was not a pretty sight up in my synapses. but i stuck with it and finished. this is me looking about as good as i felt in the last 15min of the ride. 

will someone tell me how/why the stomach pooch always shows up for photos, even though it doesn't really exist in real life? sasquatch stomach pooch? spandex is not ego friendly, that's for dernsure. 

all pooches aside, the trainer ride was great practice for the heat, as well as for practicing my nutrition. i'm not going to train in the heat allll of the time, because that would totally wipe me out, but i am going to do it occasionally to make sure my nutrition plan is nails. 

how do y'all prepare for the summer heat?

oh yeah. week(s) in workouts!

last week:
M: rest day
T: rest day
W: anaerobic swim (4x325 HI main set) + 1:15 spin
Th: anaerobic bike (10x2min hills main set) + 50min elliptical
F: long aerobic swim (500wu, 5x500 main set, 200 cd)
Sa: 5hr trainer ride
Su: 50min elliptical

next week:
M: rest day
T: 1:15 spin + 50min elliptical
W: anaerobic swim + 1:15 spin
Th: anaerobic bike (12x2min VHI main set) + 50min elliptical
F: rest day (moving to a new apartment...so not especially restful but whatever)
Sa: 50min elliptical
Su: 1:15 spin

and the podiatrist says:

"no running for two weeks."

boo.

i go back in two weeks to re-xray and to make sure it's not displaced and is healing well. if it looks good, he will let me know how much i can do safely and how to progress. if not, we continue waiting.


see how he didn't tell me how to progress up front? methinks he knows i *might* try to progress on my own before getting xrays. danggit.


in the meantime, all my 'runs' will be replaced with the elliptical (insert sarcastic 'yay' here + eyeroll.) i'm also too sore to properly clip in and out, making me unstable. thus my scheduled 100mi ride/2 mi brick has been modified into a 5hr trainer ride with some hill intervals thrown in.

let's hope the buddy tape is strong enough to hold for 5 hours!
.

this little piggy

is BROKEN.

yup. broke my left pinky toe at the joint. (aka a fracture of the articular surface of the left 5th phalanx)

let me break it down for you: i am a klutz. i walked past a cedar chest i've walked past 1,000,000 times before. this time, i accidentally kicked the leg. my pinky toe went left, the rest of me went right. cue lots of hopping up and down and swearing. cue immediate bruising, pain and swelling.

i tried to walk around on it for 10 minutes, but gave up and sat down on the couch to have a pity party. i knew it was broken. i've felt that particular brand of throbbing pain before (read note above: i am a klutz.) i was terrified and immediately ran through every worst-case scenario involving IRONMAN Louisville. my mom, the CTO, and some good (the best, actually) friends helped me keep my head on straight. made an appointment for the next day.

the next day, 3 xrays later, the doc gave me the OK to swim and bike as long as the toe is buddy taped. also got a super chic post-op boot to wear. PIN THAT, fashionistas!

doc was concerned about running with the break being at the joint, so i've got an appointment at a podiatrist/sports med office tomorrow to see 1) if i need pins to hold it together and 2) when i can get back to running.

coach is aware, and sent a fabulously calm, reassuring email. i'm glad i went with my gut on the coaching decision. coach Jason has been amazing, giving me exactly what i need, when i need it. the CTO and my momma (she's in town visiting/helping/cleaning) have been amazing too.

all in all it's not too terribly painful if i wear the silly boot--nothing a few advil can't handle. the doc offered me narcotics, to which i'd already started shaking my head "no" before he finished his sentence. he straight up laughed at me, and said, "oh i knew you'd say no. i just have to offer with the broken bone and all. us ironman types are all the same." (he is an ironman, and a former professional cyclist. so he really understood my concerns about getting back to training.)

i'm hopeful for good news from the foot/sports doc place, so i can get back to my running ASAP. running is my default favorite sport, so it's hard to imagine just giving it up cold turkey. i am legitimately SAD that i won't be doing my 16 miler this weekend. but i don't want to try and run on it too early and sign myself up for delayed healing, malunion, or other gnarly complications.

i'm going to be a good patient. i'm going to be a good patient. i'm going to be a good patient...which reminds me: it's time to ice again!

race report - Boston's Run to Remember

yesterday i ran Boston's Run to Remember. with what felt like 20,000 other people. there were a few short and touching speeches about the marathon bombing victims, as well as Officer Sean Collier, the MIT officer who was killed. many runners wore his number, #179, as an extra bib on their backs. it was pretty cool to see and be a part of all that love and support.

the only other race i've done that was as crowded as the RtR is the Cap10k in Austin. that race traditionally brings 20-25,000 people out in sneaks and costumes to trot around downtown atx.  the RtR wasn't much different--though the costumes were more patriotic.

my time for for the first mile was 13:15 due to the crowds. we were jam packed in there like cattle coming in to the corral. it was so crowded there wasn't even any use to weaving around to find more space. there just wasn't more space.

thus i sat back and bobbed up and down like the rest of the 20k people and waited for things to open up. things never 'opened-up' in the true sense--this was the most crowded HM i've ever done. but they did spread out sufficiently in mile two for me to settle into a nice, easy rhythm, whilst maintaining constant vigilance about not stepping on/into other people.

i had a blast cheering for the other runners and thanking the volunteers. i think my favorite part of the race was running along the half-mile stretch of memorial drive where patrol cars were lined up with lights flashing. in front of each car was a uniformed police officer with arm extended. policeman high-fives for half a mile? yespleaseandthankyou!! it was so much fun getting to see them smile and enjoy all of the compliments. "Nice uniform!" "thank you for your service" "i think i love you!"

my hand hurt by the end of the half mile, but it was totally worth it :)

mile splits went something like this: 13:15; 10:30; 10:00 and then between 09:20 and 09:50 (depending on runner traffic) for the rest of the race, with a final time of 2:11:30. it comes out to a 10:02 average pace, which is exactly what i was shooting for. and i kept my HR and RPE super low the whole time.

overall i'm very pleased with the race. yes, i know i could have run significantly faster and massively PR'd. no doubt in my mind there. but just knowing that is enough right now. 3 years ago, i was running about this pace, but i was pushing myself hard to achieve it. now i'm running the same pace as a long slow run, and i'm not even sore the next day. it is just TOO COOL to see my fitness changing. thank you, legs, for carrying me this far!

i wish i could leave this blog post as happy-go-lucky as it deserves to end, based on my race yesterday, but alas, 'tis not the case.

i got into a minor house-hold accident yesterday about 4pm (read: i am a hopeless klutz / have zero proprioreception abilities). i'm fixin' to head over to urgent care for x-rays, and will update you when i know what's wrong.

until then... send this girl some good juju, wouldya?  besos xox

rest week + race prep

another rest week here and gone...and another race just around the corner. ie tomorrow.

resting this week has been great for the quad. my flexibility is back to 95% on that side, and i haven't felt any twinges or weirdness at all this week, though i was generally a little tired. but that's what a rest week is for, right?

source

tomorrow i've got 13.1 mi of running to do - at Boston's Run to Remember. the race is a tribute to Boston's law enforcement officers who have been killed in the line of duty. after the tragedy of marathon monday, the race sold out in record time. the security is supposed to be very tight this year, understandably. it will be interesting to see how they run it, and if/how it affects the race timing, atmosphere, and results.

before the quad strain, i was feeling in tip-top running shape. my secret/not-so-secret-if-it's-on-the-blog plan was to try and PR this race. i mean, c'mon! it was hard not to think that way. i hadn't felt that strong on the run, pretty much ever. so the prospect of a flat-ish 13.1 to test out my new fast(er) legs was sooooo tempting. i've been itching to go sub 2hrs for a few years now.

BUT. as scary/irritating as the quad strain was, it was a good reality check for me.

HELLOOOOO. this is, at best, what, a C race for me? and i'm considering running it really hard? for what? to injure myself? to prove that i can run that fast, even though i'll be guaranteed to run significantly slower during IRONMAN Louisville? nope. ain't gonna do it.

the plan is instead to run slow. treat it like what it is: a training run. though i know at this point i can run it in sub-9 minute/mi fashion, i will instead be shooting for a 10min/mi, which is nearer to what i plan to run at Louisville. a nice, easy long run pace. enough air in the lungs to cheer right along with the spectators, all while keeping the HR relatively low.

i've trained too hard thus far, put in too many hours away from the bebe and CTO to blow it all on a dumb PR on a race that isn't even 10% of the total distance of IMLou. no gracias.

OH. AND. i've officially RSVP'd for one of the supported iamtri training weekends in Louisville!! i'll be going in July (thanks be to the wonderful support of Grandmommy and Grandpa for coming up to help the CTO with the kidlet over the long weekend.) it'll be squeezed in a week after my 70.3 (NE Trifest) and two weeks before my mountain century (still feeling a little *eep* about this one), but coach thinks it's a great idea, so of i'll go! i usually get pretty nervous riding a course i've never done before...will i get lost (probably), will there be shitty people driving cars trying to kill me (probably), what if blahblahblah. riding it with the iamtri group, in a supported manner, will help ease those worries come race day. or so i tell myself!

any of y'all ride the course before your IM? or plan to do a course preview before Lou?

big brick

welp, i survived this weekend's big brick (85mi/4mi), no disaster-title needed.

i was still slow (14-15mph avg), but i felt good coming off the bike to run. i need to keep doing my speed work, obviously, but i'm glad my legs felt strong for that long.

my lady parts were pretty unhappy, and thusly i was pretty unhappy, even with copious amounts of chamois butter, from miles 55-70. but magically around mile 70 i got relief. a non-medically induced pudendal block (careful, search is probably NSFW) kicked in, and it was all smooth sailing after that. the CTO tells me it's the cycling equivalent of a runner's high. i've never had one before, and i'm hooked! i will be sorely disappointed (ha! see what i did there!?) if it doesn't happen on the next long ride...

the only downside to this brick was my aero cages. they did not survive. POS is being retired right here, right now. y'all have any recommendations for good rear-mount cages that won't launch bottles at the hint of rough road? that aren't profile design? (booooo HISSS)

according to the widget thingie---->

there are only 99 days left to IMLou. um.

oh
my
god.

some weeks i'm so deep into training and focusing on the tasks at hand that i sort of forget what i'm training for. this last week, however, i have full-on IM Crazy Eyes. looking up IM inspiration videos on youtube. re-checking and memorizing course maps and elevation changes. stalking race reports and other training blogs. customizing race gear checklists and a race week itinerary.  i think most of this enthusiasm/obsession comes from the fact that no less than 5 of my friends & old training buddies from home are racing IMTX today.

[Yay!! Go Colin, Chris, Brooks, John, and Kim!!]

when IMTX first opened up in 2011, i assumed it would (eventually) be my first IM. i am from Texas, after all. and we have friends and family in Houston. but life dealt me another hand, and Ironman Louisville 2013 is in it.

i'm okay with that. but this whole 'less than 100 days left until race day' has me fixin' to have a heart attack. i'm finding myself freaking out about everything...will my nutrition plan work in the heat of the south? will this weird twitchy quad pain/strain (not sayin the 'i' word just yet thankyouverymuch) derail my race? will all my bricks be disasters? is this weird bump on my butt cancer? seriously, though, what is this weird bump on my butt? i'm sure Google search has nothing to do with the freak outs. 

training makes me feel bipolar. some days are the worst days ever (see previous first world problems post) and some days end up with me on cloud 9 after an amazing workout.  i go from daydreaming about a 13hr finish to having nightmares about not being fast enough and missing a cut-off.  most days my nutrition is spot on--i'm eating the best i ever have. other days, i eat an ENTIRE BAG of Baked Lays (and then google 'why did i just eat a whole bag of baked lays'.) i also may or may not have eaten a pint of ice cream for dinner the other night. this is pure speculation, though, as there is no evidence [left].

my wise IM veteran friends have told me from the beginning that training is the hardest part. that there are many ups and downs. many moments where you doubt yourself. many where you feel on top of your game. i just didn't think they could all happen within a 15 min time span!

Source

maybe i just need a mood stabilizer.

first world problems

so i realize that the pathetic blogopsychobabble that is about to follow is me complaining about my teensy first world problems.

i have food to eat, money in the bank, a car we could afford to buy outright, a healthy & happy child, a healthy & happy husband, and a career i love.

that being said, today was a shit-storm of a day. in a first-world-problems sort of way.

to get to a work meeting in Concord on time, i had to drop the kiddo off at daycare early, which meant a super early wake-up. except, the kiddo was up all night teething and crying, and i was up trying to soothe him. so the early morning wake-up turned into an early morning stay-up. then we got stuck in traffic on the way to daycare, and the kiddo cried bloody murder when i dropped him off. then i got stuck in traffic again, and was late to the meeting. the meeting ended up being a giant un-paid waste of 2hrs. no one seemed to know what was going on, what they were doing, or what we were supposed to be doing. awesome. got back in the car and got stuck in traffic again on the way to my workout. drove around for 45min trying to find parking, only to stop halfway through the workout because of what i've self-diagnosed as a quad strain. grumped my way back to the car to get stuck in traffic AGAIN on the way to pick up the kiddo.

4 HOURS OF SITTING IN TRAFFIC TODAY, PEOPLE.

pick the kid up, and daycare tells me he didn't nap at all. which is basically code for "HAHAHA good luck lady you are SCREWED." he cried all the way home, all the way through dinner (which just ended up on the floor), all the way through walking the dog, and all the way through our bedtime ritual.

notice in there that i didn't eat? yup. so, once the kid was in bed (still crying of course) i get out a bagel to toast. end up slicing the shit out of my thumb. a half hour later, my thumb is wrapped and sufficiently nursified, but i am still hungry and in the grumpiest goddamn mood i've been in since, well, the disaster brick.

GRUMPpidygrumpgrumpBLAH. ready for all of this not-awesome to turn into awesome. whenever you're ready, universe.

week 15

i can't hardly believe it. week 15 of IMLou training is here, and here's what it's going to look like:

Mon: rest
Tue: 16mi run
Wed: anaerobic swim (600wu, 8x200 sprint main set) + anaerobic bike (8x2min sprints main set)
Thurs: aerobic bike (1:15 85-95rpm) + 50min run
Fri: aerobic swim (500wu, 12x225MI main set)
Sat: BIG BRICK - 85mi ride + 4mi run (fingers crossed no disaster-brick this time)
Sun: aerobic bike (1:15 85-95rpm) + track workout (12x400 sprint main set)

please please please send me all the super smooth non catastrophe bike ride this weekend. imma do a route i know...

have a great training week, people!

oh yeah--RACE REPORT!

so, i totally had a race today. New England Season Opener Tri. short-ish sprint distance.

heh.

my goal for IM Lou, and all of the training & races in between is to have fun.

for me, this means not being a crazy person...being the first one in transition, checking and re-checking my times, speed, splits, etc. for the most part, i accomplished the non-craziness. i didn't do ANY recon on the course. didn't ride it, didn't drive it. i didn't even know which way to turn out of transition (for the run or bike...) and i showed up to transition on race day 15min before closing time. i was amazed to get in and out in only a few minutes. i forget how little you need gear-wise for these sprints! such a breeze.

found my buddy Erica, walked over to hear the announcements, and immediately was shuttled toward the docks to start. walked into freezing water. no hyperbole here, people. that water was 59 degrees!! gun goes off! swim swam breath shudder shiver swim swam 4 bouys gone and i'm out! such a short swim, 440m i think?

quick out of the wetsuit (the heavy downpour helped with this), onto the bike. immediate uphill and crazy descent all in rain i can barely see 100m in. took it easy on the bumpy downhills. i'm kind of (VERY) scared of downhills anyways. without a downpour. without aero bars. without big bumps and cracks. so i took it easy, feathered the brakes, and tried to stay upright/alive. hammered my brains out on the uphills, flying past all the crazy people who flew past me on the downhills. got passed by loads and loads of people, mostly cray men (one of whom crashed on the next turn. dummy.) i almost let it get to me, but then i reeled myself back in. my training race. my IM training. no one else's. focus. and then back into transition before i know it (only a 10mi bike).

rack the bike, out on the run, back up the big uphill again. but you know what? i catch a glimpse of my bebe and the CTO and i feel like i'm flying. i've never felt so strong on a run before. head down reciting my running mantra up the hills, flying and smiling ear to ear on the downhills. felt a skosh twingy in the R hammy and quad in the last few 100m, but nothing too scary. finished with a giant smile on my face, feeling like i could do it all over again (a few times.)

it's amazing how in just a few months my fitness has changed so much. i've never felt this awesome during (or after) a race before. and i went h-a-r-d. racing on mother's day was also a ball--my hot husband and sweet kiddo on the sidelines, cheering me on. one hamburger patty, one coke, a bunch of grapes, and a fizzy water later and i'm ready to head home.

don't know my time. don't know my splits. the race results board said i was 11th in AG. shme. i could have been 111th and i would have been just as happy--that shit was FUN.

hope y'all have a happy and fun mother's day!

weekend sufferfest

this weekend, as you may remember, i had two big workouts on my list.

#1: 14mi run immediately s/p an 8hr nursing shift. this nursing shift was straight from the 7th circle of hell, aka i didn't sit down once. needless to say, i didn't feel too fresh and peppy when i got started. and i have a cold, so i was snotty enough that my t-shirt could stand up on it's own by the end (i haven't mastered the whole snot-rocket thing.)  but it was a beautiful day in Concord, and that helped lessen the pain a bit. 2:24, on busted legs. could have been worse.

#2: BIG BRICK 70mi ride/4mi run. time to put the big girl panties on! it was 40 degrees when i left. did a route i'd never done before. [hint: this is foreshadowing]

turns out 7 mi of said route was 'under construction,' which in this case means there WAS NO ROAD. just dirt and rocks for 7 miles. took me forever and a year to snake my pretty princess tri bike through that mess. this route also had 1500+ ft of climbing. i did that part on purpose, and it wasn't too bad really (especially compared to TX hills) even on tired-from-the-day-before legs.

then i got lost. twice. then my GDDAMNED POS left rear aero cage broke! stupid rough "road" unscrewed the screws and buh-bye cage! then i got lost again.

i had planned for the ride to take me about 4:45. it took me SIX AND A HALF HOURS. between getting lost a bagillion times, stopping to check GPS because apparently there's no law requiring western Mass towns to LABEL THEIR EFFING STREETS like the rest of civilization, and trying to fix the water bottle cages, i added two more hours (and 5 more miles!) to my already loooongass brick. yay.

this mean that by the time i got off the bike, it felt like my vagina had been punched repeatedly with barbed-wire brass knuckles.

and this also meant the poor CTO and bebe had to wait around for me at the park for two hours! i was such a grumpy goddamn mess when i finally met them, i'm surprised they stuck around to run with me. all grumps aside, it felt surprisingly good to be off the bike and running, even with heavy legs that could only carry me 1:30 min/mi slower than my usual pace. i'm just glad i did it and didn't give up.

also, did i mention i have a cold, or allergies, or sinus AIDS? i had yellow goo running down my face/neck for all 6.5 hrs. in 40 degree weather. so i basically looked like this:

tell me, olde internete friends, are these long bricks supposed to suck? do they get better? or do you just get used to the ouch-factor? i was doubting my ability to do the IM for a little while today, not going to lie! (i pulled myself together, though. after surviving today, i figure IMLou will be manageable.)

the dark side of training

i'm not even all the way through with my first week of my first month of build training, and i'm already seeing the dark side of training that i feared so much.

due to conflicts with the CTO's schedule, i didn't get to leave for my swim today until 5:30pm. which means i didn't get to put my bebe to bed.

tomorrow, i get up at 5:30am to go to work, which (Nurse Gods willing) finishes at 3:30. work will be immediately followed by a 14 mile run on a route i've never done before. so, best case scenario, i'm done with my run and ready to drive home by 6:15pm. it takes 35min to get home with no traffic. and the kiddo has been going to bed between 6:45-7pm these days. which means i probably won't see him AT ALL on Saturday.

this realization made me cry as i said goodbye to him today.

but that's not all, folks. on Sunday, i have a longassmuthafuckin brick (70 mile ride + 4 mile run), for which i'll leave the house no later than 6am (again, before bebe wakes up). if i'm lucky i'll be done by 12.

if he's awake when i get home, that will be 42.5 hours that i have not seen my son.

this breaks my heart! i knew it would be hard, i did. especially starting work. but owie. i'm working on figuring out how to rearrange my schedule so i don't spend DAYS away from my child.

any working parents out there have tips for maximizing time with the kidlets? and poor CTO...he gets less time with me than the kid does :/

holy schedule cram

aka this week in workouts...

so i started my new job as a nurse. it's going well, but they're having me train A LOT on the floor and in the infusion center before they let me go on my own. i was hired for PRN (24hrs/month) but have been working 30+ hrs a week for the last two weeks. i still have two weeks of training before i'm done. so, essentially full-time work will overlap with the beginning of peak training for two weeks. on top of me trying to spend as much time as i can with the bebe. i can do this, right??

my two-a-day workouts increase from 2 to 3 days a week this week, and the long bike rides/bricks are getting REAL AS SHIT. here's the breakdown for this week:

M: 1:10 anaerobic spin workout + hill run workout (12x2min very hard repeat main set)
T: rest day + work
W: anaerobic swim (2x300, 3x200, 4x100 increasing from H to VHI main set) + 1:15 spin
Th: anaerobic spin (20x30 simulated hill climbs 55rpm repeat main set) + 50min run
F: aerobic swim (600, 500, 400, 300, 200, 100 ladder main set)
Sa: 14mi run after work .... should be fun after standing up all day.
Su: BRICK 70mi bike + 4mi run

woooooweeeeee time to bust out the mega tub of chamois butter! please send all the happy vajayjay juju you can muster, i'm going to need it!

what a week

shit. what a week. glad it's over.

M: rest day
T: 3.5hr brick
W: 12mi run
Th: anaerobic spin + ST
F: anaerobic spin + hill run
Sa: aerobic Looooongo swim
Su: anaerobic spin

this week is a rest week. can i get an AMEN?

M: rest day
T: swim 2
W: 50min run
Th: 1:15 spin
F: rest day
Sa: 50min run
Su: 1:15 spin

sirens

i'll try and make this my last blog-therapy post.

ever since monday, all i hear are sirens. and i'm pretty sure most of them aren't real. i've gone out to do my every day activities, but i'm terrified. i can't say exactly why. the logical part of my brain says the bombs were one-off, and that there isn't any danger in 'normal' day-to-day activities.

but i still have a knot like a rock in my stomach.

i did a 3.5hr brick on tuesday. i cried most of the way through the bike. i hadn't cried yet, and i thought it made me feel better. until i was out running the 4mi portion of the brick. about .25mi from home i have to pass under a train bridge. i have run under it multiple times while a train was over head. it never bothered me, until now.

a train went over as i was under the bridge, and i nearly had a heart attack. my body kept trying to roll straight into a panic attack, but i kept running through the halting breaths and pin-prick adrenaline fingers and eventually calmed down.

as i sit here on the couch while my kiddo pretends to nap, i can faintly hear sirens and helicopters. i'm not sure if they are actually there or not--i've been hearing them constantly since the bombings.

and you know what? all of this fear and paranoia and jumping at every bus that drives by? it makes me feel guilty. guilty because i am okay. guilty because i didn't leave my (safe) family to go help. guilty because i am feeling all crazy just for being a block away.

i know i said in my previous self-serving therapy post about the marathon that i wasn't going to let this get me down. welp, it's easier said than done.

tell me something good or happy, please.

marathon monday

i left work training early yesterday to get home in time to change, eat lunch, and meet Morgan, the kiddo, and our friends L&M + their kiddo downtown to watch the marathon.

L&M's sister was running, and they had decided to meet on Boylston St. two blocks from the finish to watch her run by. she had a great race and finished earlier than expected (ran a 3:38 instead of a 4).

riding the subway down there meant i came up out of the T on the wrong side of Boylston (by the Pru, instead of closer to the river where my people were.) i eventually made my way over to everyone and delivered the lunch they had waited so long for. once they finished eating, i proceeded to lead us down Boylston St. towards the finish line in order to meet up with L's sister, who was on the other side of the finish line by the park. i made a joke about not being able to watch the finish because it makes me too emotional--i got all choked up and weepy just watching the runners.

about 5 minutes before the blasts, we unknowingly walked right past the second bomb site. we got stalled due to the crowds, and the CTO decided it would be best to turn back towards Exeter so we could take Newbury (a parallel street one block over) to the park. after walking on Newbury for a few minutes we heard the first blast. we were only two blocks away, so it was LOUD. L and i looked at each other, then our kids, then each other, and said--'that couldn't have been an explosion. no. probably construction. but let's hurry anyways.'

we walked on for a few more seconds and heard another. i checked the news and twitter. 9s later and there were already tweets about the explosions.

as we got closer to the park, ambulances, fire trucks, police cars, swat vehicles, and under cover cop cars came zooming towards us. people started fast walking. there were frantic phone conversations. then running.

we grabbed ahold of our two littles and got as far away from down town as we could, grateful to be safe from whatever was happening. i wanted to go back and help, but the CTO pulled me back to reality with one quick glance at our sleeping babe.

if we had taken my intended route, we would have been right by the first blast. who knows what would have happened to us, to our children.

we were lucky yesterday.

so many others weren't. my heart aches for them, for their families. my heart aches for the Boston community, who is so shaken today. and for the runners who worked so hard to 'BQ' but were injured, stopped short, or simply horrified by the events.

i am still terrified today. i don't want to take the T. i don't want to take the kid to daycare. i don't want to do my brick workout. i want to sit on my computer and give myself a stomach ache by reading all of the news reports.

but. BUT. you know what? i am going to keep moving. i am not going to let whomever is responsible for this derail me, me life, my happiness. i will still run endurance races. i will still dream about qualifying for Boston. and i will still do this brick. i'm going to cry, but i'm going to do it.

now get off the internets and go hug a loved one!

last few weeks in workouts

with all of the flying and family events to attend, the last two weeks have been a bit hectic. here's what things have looked like:

Mar 25-Apr 3: rest week. seems like i had every other day off, with no two-a-days. felt fantastic.

Apr 1-7:
M: off (orientation at new job!!)
T: spin intervals + strength training (+ nursing orientation)
W: anaerobic swim (4x350 hard main set) (+ nursing orientation)
Th: anaerobic bike + hill repeats (+ nursing orientation)
F: missed the swim bc the BSC pool was closed, and we were too short on time for me to find another pool (+fly to Dallas)
Sa: 10mile run (+ Grandma's funeral)
Su: BRICK (3hr spin + 4mi run)  (+drive from Dallas to Austin)

This week:
M: anaerobic swim, same as above
T: unintentional rest day (stupid Gold's Gym in TX wouldn't let me do a spin workout without a TX license! grrrrrr)
W: fly to Boston + strength training
Th: anaerobic bike + hill repeats
F: aerobic swim, same as above
Sa: BRICK (3hr spin + 4mi run)
Su: 11mi run

I don't have any work commitments this week, so that is good. But I'm still going to end up missing a workout. That's two workouts missed in two weeks. I know it's not a huge deal to my overall fitness--I haven't felt this strong, well, ever--but it makes me nervous.

And shit is about to get crazier. We have friends coming in town for the marathon. And this is the weekend our landlord puts the house on the market (which means showings...and keeping the house perfectly clean...with guests...who have a 5 year old...) AND I start work again on Monday, and am training at the hospital 4 days out of the week.

How am I going to train and hit all my workouts once I start work? Can I do this??

Doubt is so evil... it just creeps in little by little. Maybe it's easier to doubt myself after having a couple of really crappy/emotional family weeks? Who knows. Here's hoping next week brings a better outlook and attitude on my part! Maybe watching the marathoners will inspire me.