marathon monday

i left work training early yesterday to get home in time to change, eat lunch, and meet Morgan, the kiddo, and our friends L&M + their kiddo downtown to watch the marathon.

L&M's sister was running, and they had decided to meet on Boylston St. two blocks from the finish to watch her run by. she had a great race and finished earlier than expected (ran a 3:38 instead of a 4).

riding the subway down there meant i came up out of the T on the wrong side of Boylston (by the Pru, instead of closer to the river where my people were.) i eventually made my way over to everyone and delivered the lunch they had waited so long for. once they finished eating, i proceeded to lead us down Boylston St. towards the finish line in order to meet up with L's sister, who was on the other side of the finish line by the park. i made a joke about not being able to watch the finish because it makes me too emotional--i got all choked up and weepy just watching the runners.

about 5 minutes before the blasts, we unknowingly walked right past the second bomb site. we got stalled due to the crowds, and the CTO decided it would be best to turn back towards Exeter so we could take Newbury (a parallel street one block over) to the park. after walking on Newbury for a few minutes we heard the first blast. we were only two blocks away, so it was LOUD. L and i looked at each other, then our kids, then each other, and said--'that couldn't have been an explosion. no. probably construction. but let's hurry anyways.'

we walked on for a few more seconds and heard another. i checked the news and twitter. 9s later and there were already tweets about the explosions.

as we got closer to the park, ambulances, fire trucks, police cars, swat vehicles, and under cover cop cars came zooming towards us. people started fast walking. there were frantic phone conversations. then running.

we grabbed ahold of our two littles and got as far away from down town as we could, grateful to be safe from whatever was happening. i wanted to go back and help, but the CTO pulled me back to reality with one quick glance at our sleeping babe.

if we had taken my intended route, we would have been right by the first blast. who knows what would have happened to us, to our children.

we were lucky yesterday.

so many others weren't. my heart aches for them, for their families. my heart aches for the Boston community, who is so shaken today. and for the runners who worked so hard to 'BQ' but were injured, stopped short, or simply horrified by the events.

i am still terrified today. i don't want to take the T. i don't want to take the kid to daycare. i don't want to do my brick workout. i want to sit on my computer and give myself a stomach ache by reading all of the news reports.

but. BUT. you know what? i am going to keep moving. i am not going to let whomever is responsible for this derail me, me life, my happiness. i will still run endurance races. i will still dream about qualifying for Boston. and i will still do this brick. i'm going to cry, but i'm going to do it.

now get off the internets and go hug a loved one!