sharing is caring

so, i guess there are a two things i should share here, if i'm going to be honest about my IRONMAN Louisville journey. these two things affect my day-to-day life, my nutrition, my training, and even my fertility.

#1) i have ulcerative colitis. follow the link if you'd like to learn more about it; pubmed does a great job of explaining it, so no need to repeat here.
#2) i am a glutard. (= gluten intolerant). sometimes i'm better about it than others. but i feel best when on a gluten free (GF) diet.

lately i haven't been feeling well. i don't know if it's the series of 3 colds and the flu i've had over the past 2 months that just wore my body down. i don't know if it's the emotional stress of the past year: having a baby, being so far from family, staying at home to care for the baby instead of going back to work as a nurse, feeling shifts in my relationship with the CTO, etc. i don't know if it's because i fell off the GF bandwagon for a month.

whatever the reason, my guts are NOT happy. i have an appointment with my GI doctor this week (right after my meeting with my coach...hmm). i'll probably have to change medications to a more serious medication class, a move that is irreversible. once you move up to the bigger guns, there is no going back. and eventually, if you run out of meds that work for you, surgery is next. so, needless to say, i'm not super excited to move up in medication classes. but i'm already taking more than the maximum dose of my regular medication. and i sure  as hell can't feel the way i feel right now and be any kind of active.

this last week the most i have done is walk from the couch to the bathroom, back to the couch, and back and forth from the baby's room. and it exhausts me. i get nauseous and can hardly eat anything, so my blood sugar drops and i feel lightheaded often. combine with taking care of a fussy baby, and i'm pooped. pun intended.

why on earth would i have signed up for an IRONMAN race if i feel this way? well, i didn't feel this way when i signed up, and i certainly don't feel this way all of the time. what i'm going through is called a flare. i've had two this year (which is a lot for me, i usually go years between them.) eventually, i will need surgery to remove my colon.

after some soul searching post-baby, i realized i was aching for triathlon, for running, for activity again. and IRONMAN has been a life goal of mine for 15 years or so. the CTO and i decided that next year, 2013, would be the best year for me to give it a go. i'm not working as an RN right now, so wouldn't have to navigate training between nightshifts. i'm taking care of the baby, but could find some help here and there to accommodate my training and get the little man used to being in day care/school.

AND, i want to do this race before things get really bad with my guts. i know someone has done a full with an ileostomy, but i don't want to have to go there if i don't have to.

we thought it was the perfect timing.

maybe it still will be. i'm just a little nervous right now, based on how i feel in this flare. i want this IRONMAN so badly i can taste it. but do i want it so badly that i'm willing to sacrifice my colon? no. especially since women with UC experience markedly decreased fertility after colon resection. the CTO were and I were thinking of trying for #2 sometime after the IM. so. my GI doctor and i will have a come-to-Jesus talk about what to do with me on Thursday.

here's hoping we come up with an IRONMAN-friendly solution.